Isn’t it amazing how God knows us better than we even know ourselves? And how we can ask for one thing we really think we want, but then God goes above and beyond what we even thought to ask for. This has been my experience all through out this journey. God knows me, he loves me and he wants to give me better things than I even know that I need.
I’ve lived by myself the majority of the last seven years, and that’s exactly how I liked it. The space was my own, the schedule was my own, there were no expectations on me. If I wanted to cook I cooked, if I wanted to eat out I ate out. If there was a t.v. show I wanted to watch I watched it. I saw people when I wanted to see people and I was alone when I wanted to be alone. I was accountable to no one but myself.
I’ve known all along that I would have two German roommates in Malawi, in fact for the majority of the time I thought there would be three of us in one room. Thankfully, that didn’t end up being the case, but I was ready for that challenge. I looked at this as the potential to be like the college experience I never had. I started at a junior college, transferred to Cal State Fullerton and was a commuter. At that time it was about finishing, not about enjoying the experience. I knew living with strangers wouldn’t be easy for this introvert, but I wanted to take this as another opportunity to stretch and grow.
I found out about a week or so before they came that they were two 18 years old girls. I knew they would be younger, but I had no idea they would be that young, literally just graduated from high school. I am old enough to be their mother. This did not seem to be an ideal situation to me, but there was little I could do about it, so I was left only to trust that this too was part of God’s plan. My prayer all along had been that I would at least be able to tolerate whoever I had to live with.
God answered my prayers above and beyond what I asked for. Not only can I tolerate Pauline and Leonie, I love them. They have strengths where I lack, they are extremely mature for their age, they are good natured, funny and we just all balance each other out so well. We can joke and tease with the best of them, there has definitely already been some mom jokes, and I can’t help but laugh at the way they say some things with their German accents, but we are also so encouraging and caring towards one another. We’ve learned and grown so much together and it hasn’t even been a week yet. It’s obvious that God chose us for each other. Of course there will be challenges over the next eleven months, but I am confident that we will get through them together.
I’m thankful for the challenges I spoke about in my last blog, because through that loneliness I’m now so grateful for this new connection. If I hadn’t gone through that dark place, I don’t know that I would be able to appreciate the light I now have. The Bible talks about how the storms of life will come, and that if we build our foundation on the rock of Jesus Christ we will be able to weather those storms. I’ve come through the storm of loneliness stronger and full of trust in God unlike I’ve ever had before. I’m so happy and grateful to God for all that he’s done, is doing and will continue to do. He is a good God who knows us better than we know ourselves, loves us deeply and wants to take care of us.